Six years ago.
I can’t believe this bish is moving, “to be closer to god”, her words not mine, “you know work is my religion baebae,” she announced. I know she’s only moving in a few months but I already know that I’m going to miss her and the convenience of us living in the same estate.
Khanyisa and I met during our university days. The buildings for our specialities happened to be next to each other. And on the day we met, I had already noticed her earlier that week. At first I noticed her because of the way she dressed, then I noticed that she too had a coffee in the morning and a muffin with her lunch. “Imnandi le nonsense, I keep promising myself to go down to one a week,” she said as I was paying for my order. I laughed and moved to the side to wait for my food. She proceeded to order the exact same things as me; a chocolate muffin, a sandwich and water. “Mina my weakness is the red velvet one, it gave me these lovely curves,” I says as I strike a pose. She looks at me and nods with a sparkling smile on her face. “Yebo ke, ende in that dress, killing thart look. I’m Khanyi, short for Khanyisa,” she says. “Club sandwich,” the lady at the kitchen window calls. “That’s me,” I say and quickly introduce myself before heading to the window. As I collect my food, I briefly consider waiting with her until she gets her food. But then I remember what happened last time I met someone like this. So I decide to leave. It’s exam season so weeks passed before I saw Khanyi again. “Red velvet right?” I hear someone say. I look up from my book. Prof P is so annoying with the over night assignments which mean zero breaks for me. “Oh hey Khanyi, yes, it was red velvet, thank you,” I say. Oh my word, it’s fresh and smell oh so delicious. “I saw you leaving the shop without one earlier, guess you didn’t know that they put out two batches during lunch. One at the beginning for the lunch crowd and another towards the end for the afternoon. And you call yourself a fan,” she says while waving a finger at me. I laugh and nearly choke on the muffin. “Oh shit, sorry, here, have some water.” And the rest is history.
“Don’t look at me like that, you’re going to miss my ass annoying you like this,” she says while pulling me from the couch. “Asambe babe man, let’s enjoy the heck out of that balcony and views before I have to give it up,” “Fine, are my blue shorts clean?” I ask. I stand up and take my phone out of the charger and follow her to the door. Her side of the estate is where the duplex houses are, it’s also where the hill and lake are. It’s beautiful and the views from her balcony are even more stunning at sunset. My side is where the larger houses are and we’re near the golf course. Though it’s a single story dwelling, there’s still a stunning view of the green from my deck. These people thought of everything. Ungangi buzi about how much rent is. I still flinch a bit when I see the debit order amount on my bank statement.
“Friend, I swear this Sne girl is out of her mind. First she invited me to her sisters twenty first birthday party, now she wants me to join her and her friends for a weekend in Sun City. Hayi ngeke, also I’m not made of money,” Sne is Khanyis colleague. A nice person from what I’ve heard but she tends to have a flair for the dramatic. Khanyi likes to say that she lives her life like it’s a movie. They’ve only been working together for a month and it seems like Sne is really keen on being friends. Khanyi is a bit tentative about the whole thing. If she doesn’t feel-your-blood on sight, she takes a while to warm up to you. We have that in common. And it’s not that we have trust issues, but we rely heavily on chemistry and our gut feelings I guess.
I wave as Khanyi drives out the garage. So much for “Hayi ngeke I’m not made of money.” I really wanted to sleep most of this weekend, but I have plans with Luthendo today. We’ve only been dating for eight months but things are already beginning to wane and we’re both just letting it happen. I guess our relationship is like a bouquet of flowers; heightened emotions at the start and then with time, you’re just waiting for them to be dead enough so you can initiate the process of discarding them. I know throwing away old flowers isn’t a process, but ending a relationship is. Well, for me anyway. I met Luthendo during my “hoe is life” phase, back then my tinder name was Woza–Woza. Bold right?
It’s a Monday of a long weekend – we get the Monday off if a public holiday falls on a Sunday. If there is anything that our government understands is the concept of RESTING. Siyabonga govment. All the food in my fridge is rotten. Luthendo somehow convinced me to go to her place instead of us spending the weekend at mine and in the haste I forgot to load electricity. I can either be mad at myself or use this as an opportunity to process my emotions with some junk food. Just as my food arrives, I get a call from her. “ You owe me R157 yadzi chips and whatever else you just bought,” she says mildly amused. “Oh fuck,” I reply and apologise. I forgot that she used my app to order our food weeks ago when her phone was giving her problems. Why didn’t I pay? Well, because it was her turn to host movie night, so she insisted on paying. I promise to transfer the money to her and we end the call. That went well for our first conversation as exe’s and I’m glad, especially because we’re trying to be friends.
“Yoo but bab’ Joseph will never change with the power trips. I lived here for 500 years and he knows we’re friends but he still can’t just be free with the access to this side, as if that weird spreadsheet is even useful, hayisuka,” “ Baby!” I reply as I wake up from a nap. I’m so glad she has a key, because walking all the way to the door angeke. “Welcome back. And what did you expect nawe with this ridic ‘phased’ move,” “ Yeah I know he’s angry that he can’t predict my movements anymore,” she replies. “Earlier when I got back, uthi kimi uThwelekonke was here izolo to bring you airtime because he thinks that’s maybe the reason why you’re replying his text,” I says and we both muse at how ridiculous it is that bab’ Joseph ignores the fact that Khanyi is gay. There isn’t a son and male relative he hasn’t tried to set her up with. He doesn’t try these things with me though. After the first male relative showed up, I lied and said I was married but ran away.
I wait until Khanyi has had a snack and topped up our drinks before asking her about the weekend. “Ihe where do I start? Can I just say ‘girls’ and be finished,” she says. She puts her feet on the couch and sits back. And instead of telling me the story in chronological order, she tells me the parts she claims changed her life.
Sne, her colleague turned friend in a weekend, invited her and four of her other friends on a weekend getaway. And no, it wasn’t in celebration of anything. Nope, uSne doesn’t need a reason. Khanyi says that she met some of the girls at Sne’s sisters 21st birthday party. During this trip, she met the rest of the “crae-crew”, as Sne refers to them. Their names are Thobani (Thoba) and Sabusiswa (Sabu). She explains that, like her, Sabu is a new friend. Sne’s girlfriend and Sabu’s boyfriend are siblings. And they had met recently at one of the braais hosted by Sne’s partner. “I absolutely love your vibe, what’s your number? we must be friends,” Sne had said to Sabu the day they met. Thoba is one of her two best friends. Apparently Thoba and Sne grew up together and they call each other ‘twiny’. Khanyi didn’t meet the other best friend because, “Eish, I think I’m on probation, so she didn’t want to come this time,” was Sne’s reply when asked about her. We’re not even thirty minutes into the update and she stops and say, “Hayibo Sne’s bff, uThoba, that girl is too quiet mani and its a bit strange. Even uSabu mentioned that she’s not sure how they’re even bff’s yena noSne,” Sabu and Khanyi were sharing a room during the weekend so they got “close”. All the stories so far have been about this Sabu girl actually, I wonder if umngani is crushing a little. I’ll tease her about it later.
Present day.
After what seems like an avalanche of information about Thoba and Khanyi’s feud, Khanyi says, “ Jolani guys akhonto. But, now that you know all of this, also know that if you guys ever breakup, we’re not discussing it. Siyophuza nje once. We can even make it an entire weekend of going out,” I laugh, even though I’m still reeling. Khanyi’s phone rings and I use this as a segue to say goodbye. I hug her and I hear “I’m fucked,” coming from the voice on the other side of the line. I look at her and shrug and turn to walk back to the car but she grabs my hand and asks me to wait. I sit on the side of the road and wait for her to finish her call. I’m glad that the call doesn’t take long because this pavement is burning my butt. She’s in tears by the time the call ends. She puts her phone in her pocket and comes to sit next to me on the burning pavement. “That was Kagiso, he just got back from Tumiso’s house. uSma was shot outside Lux Liqu some days ago. He said that the funeral is tomorrow. And that he needs me to go with him but he didn’t tell me why,” “Hectic, this is so tragic and sad. Poor Tumiso man,” I reply. “Right?” A moment of quiet passed through both of us. I can tell that there’s something she’s not telling me, but I don’t say anything. “Do you want me to come with you?” I ask. “Yes please babe.”
Noma the writer 