Thulubonge Mpande

It is half way through the drive and the road signs are counting down to the next petrol station.

“Do you guys want to stop at the next ultra city?” Siyanda asks. Khana looks back at Thula for a response. She nods on time for him to off-ramp into the petrol station. They thank him and Thula tries to give him some money for petrol but he declines.

“Do you want anything from the shop?”

“Coke and water please. Thanks,” he replies and Thula closes the car door.

There is a misty silence between Khana and Thula as they walk to the bathroom. Khana sense that there is more to it than Thula’s worry about her mother.

“It wasn’t even 10 minutes into the drive and you fell asleep,” Khana attempts to fill the silence. Thula looks at her and smiles in embarrassment and walks towards an open stall. She is mad at herself. And has been trying to swallow the ball of jealousy that has been lodged in her throat since they left the base.

“Mlanga called to confirm our details. Maj Mwashita has approved your leave and HR is processing it.”

“That’s great. Thank you. She’s always at the right place isn’t she,” she replies and the reaction that forms on Khana’s face turns the lump in her throat into regret. Khana pays for her pack of gum and water and walks out of the store. Thula hands the cashier a hundred rand note and runs out the glass doors. She catches up with her before she reaches the car.

“I’m sorry.”

“What was that Thula?”

“A bad joke! It did not come out the way I intended. I just …,” she says and does not continue when she senses the lie making things worse. She looks at the parking area full of cars and then back at Khana. In that moment, holding her gaze fills her with a heavy intoxication.

“Jealousy. It was, I’m jealous,” she corrects herself and places a hand on her chest as if to remind her heart of its purpose when it threaten to buckle under the nerves.

“But you gave me her number.”

“I did,” she nods slowly.

“Thula!”

“I know, mixed signals and lousy timing. I’m a cliche.”

“Yes! Yes you are. Eish!” she hooks her arm into Thula’s. She asks her why she must analyze everything. And mocks her for getting it wrong this time. They walk back to the car together and agree to defer the rest of the conversation.

“Thula, come on man,”

“What, last time she nearly died, this is what Mama did!”

“I know. I know okay, but Mme Ruth is on her way sesi.”

“So?”

“Thula?”

“No sesi. What?” she replies and tears flow down her cheeks. Mpho murmurs and takes impepho from her and lights it. Like Mme, she can never bare it when someone in her family is in distress. She hugs her and they do a shimmy that is weighed down by fatigue. And when they’re done, they look at their mother, sitting quietly in a maroon plastic chair holding Mme’s hand.

“Mama?” Mpho’s voice thunders with supplication. She searches her for something that tells her she can look forward. Her eyes dart from Mama’s puffy eyes to Mme’s pale face.

“Okay,”

“Okay?”

“Ee, okay. Let’s sit and try to calm down while we wait for the doctor. When we know more, we will pray again and get a game plan. Okay?” she asks and Thula nods I’m agreement. Thula leaves the room in search for more chairs in the waiting area. Siyanda and Mondli ask her for an update and she tells them that they’re still waiting to hear more from the doctor. The baby is a sleep so she gently kisses him on his cheek. Khana stacks two chairs and gives them to her. She returns to Mme’s room and Mpho is sitting on Mama’s lap. Mme is awake. Her stomach knots, contradicting the relief that she feels.

“My baby,” Mme smiles at Thula.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get here sooner,” she cries. The doctor and the nurse walk into the room a moment after Thula.

“Avuxeni, I’m doctor Nxolani and this is nurse Xulu,” Mme Ruth arrives just as he introduces himself. She greets and hurries to Mmes bedside next to Thula. With one hand in Thula’s, she leans over and touches Mme’s face with the other.

“Oh Mosa oa ka,” she says. The doctor moves to the end of Mmes hospital bed in an effort to get their attention.

“Mrs Mpande, some of your results are back. I can confirm that you have acute liver failure. And fortunately it has not affected your kidneys,” the doctor updates and Mme squeezes Mamas hand.

“Nobuhle? Mosa?” Mme Ruth enquires.

“It’s fine sesi, let them stay.”

“Your blood does show signs of an infection. So we will adjust your current treatment to try reverse the liver failure and to stop the infection from affecting your vital organs,” he continues and the nurse asks Mama if he can get access to Mme’s hand so he can change her IV.

Mpho and Thula follow the nurse and doctor out the room. The baby is up and is fussing so Mpho sits on a chair to feed him. She continues updating Siyanda and Mondli as she adjusts and the baby latches on.

“They might need to run a few more tests to determine the source of the infection if the rest of the tests come back inconclusive,” Thula says as her and Khana walk towards the hospital exit. “Mme’s blood type is out of stock so Mama and Mme Ruth will be donating blood incase she needs it. Mme Ruth is not happy about this,” she continues with the update. Khana stops when they get to the door.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else from your house or the shops? And why can’t uSiyanda go again?”

“No,nothing else. Thank you. And you guys agreed to this driving schedule, not me,” she says with a tired smile. Khana unhooks her arm, kisses Thula on the cheek and reluctantly walks out the door.

“So Mme Ruth saw the plate ye impepho.”

“Well the smell of it is still in the room so she would have known any way,” Thula shrugs in response to Mpho’s statement. Though they believe in the same things, Thula sometimes senses an air of discomfiture that Mpho feels around Mme Ruth. Thula opens the door and braces herself.

“Nobuhle, these kids need at least one parent at full strength. Please.”

“I understand sisi but I’m not going to change my mind, I’ve done it several times before at the blood bank. I’ll be fine.”

“Mpilo can also donate, can’t you nana,” Mpho says playfully trying to soften the tension.

“Uganga ngekhehla lami bakithi,” Mama says, “it’s almost visiting hours, please call the guys to come so we can pray. I’m sure my sisters also itching to hear from uSiyanda.”

“Oh, I thought you’ve prayed already,” Mme Ruth replies looking at the plate of impepho ashes.

“Sorry Mme Ruth,” Mpho and Thula say in unison.

“Don’t be sorry. Your faith is your own. I know these two hide certain things from me because they think I won’t understand,” she gestures towards Mme and Mama.

“I don’t ever want you to hide anything from me Mpho oa ka, le wena Thula wami,” she continues. The moms look at each other in disbelief and Thula is reminded of her conversation with Gogo TK.