Poetry

We looked alike but had different needs

I did not know that distinction back then

So I assisted in hiding parts of myself

In declaring them unnecessary

Stripped their value and assigned it elsewhere

I became still waters that ran deep

And took comfort in being silent

In my silence I observed

I looked and saw and with time a pattern of intent emerged

But I took for granted the effects that this would have

I neglected to see that my innards were moulding into your form

Studying you and seldom forming opinions of my own

And with time, I felt your pain more than mine

Your perspective was the ledge I lingered on, on my way to summit my own

A days detour I am unlearning to take

I have to unlearn

Because it is not a detour you took for me

We have the same needs – an assumption I now know you made

An assumption that collapsed me into line art

Beautiful, but lacking the height to catch the sun or cast a shadow

Until I began to bloom

Began to lift off your page and unfold into multiple dimensions

I began to take up space

But this space I questioned

And made a habit of conducting reconnaissance

Always tentative before laying my bare emotional limbs

Still, there was and is a bliss in the cracking of the bones and the stretching of my person

Even on days and in conversation where making contact with the new space feels like placing my feet on eggshells

Even on days and in conversation where it feel like I am too much to bare